We sympathize with you if you’ve recently divorced, are going through a deafening divorce, or have recently separated from a partner. It is very rare that people take divorce as a simple thing.
If you and your partner have a child or children together, the situation can be even more difficult. You may be concerned, among other things, that your ex-partner is turning your child or children against you. There are further learnings that we can find if we read about custody litigation.
What is parental alienation?
Parental alienation is a situation in which one parent uses strategies to separate a child from the other parent. These strategies are sometimes referred to as brainwashing, alienating, or programming. Parental alienation syndrome is a controversial term (more on that in a minute), However, many people use it to describe the child’s symptoms as told by psychologist Ryan Thomas.
Parental Alienation Syndrome causes:
Is it possible for alienation and a syndrome to develop if your former partner makes false statements about you to your child on a regular basis and in a severe manner? Let’s look at it more closely. A “campaign of denigration” is when a child constantly and unfairly criticizes an alienated parent. For the criticisms, the child lacks strong evidence, specific examples, or justifications or only has false reasoning. The child’s feelings toward the estranged parent are uniformly negative, with no redeeming qualities to be found. This is referred to as “lack of ambivalence.”
Ryan Thomas observed that the child claims that all of the criticisms are based on their own conclusions and independent thinking. (In fact, the alienating parent is said to have “programmed” the child with these ideas in PA.) The alienator has the child’s unwavering support. The child feels no remorse for mistreating or hating the estranged parent.
When referring to situations that have never happened or occurred before the child’s memory, the child uses terms and phrases that appear to be borrowed from adult language.
The child’s hatred for the alienated parent extends to other family members who are related to that parent (for example, grandparents or cousins on that side of the family). The child must have a strong bond with the alienator and previously have had a strong bond with the alienated in order to be diagnosed with PAS. He also stated that when the child is with the alienated parent, the child should exhibit negative behaviours and have difficulty communicating.
Signs that your child is being alienated:
So, are you or your ex-partner alienators, causing the other parent to be alienated? Here are some possible indicators:
- Unnecessary relational details, such as affairs, may be revealed to a child by an alienator.
- While claiming that the alienated is busy/occupied/uninterested in the child, an alienator may prevent a child from seeing or talking to the other parent.
- Regardless of how much time the child spends with the other parent, an alienator may insist that all of the child’s personal items be kept at the alienator’s house.
- During the custody of the other parent, an alienator may plan enticing activities.
- In relation to the foregoing, an alienator may frequently violate custody agreements made inside or outside of court. Messages or interactions, as the case may be.
- The alienator may make deliberate comparisons between the other parent and a new partner.
This reading will give you more ideas about parental alienation. Be aware that PAS can be difficult to prove in legal contexts, especially when it comes to custody agreements. PAS is most commonly mentioned in custody battles, which is ironic. PAS can also be used to keep abuse going, hide it, or reinforce it.